The family is one organic whole and should be seen as such; a unit pulsating with life. When working with a client, the therapist must remember the bigger picture. All immediate family members of the client, living or dead, are part of this energy field we call "family". In a family constellation the therapist works with the whole family, even though only one member is actually present.

A Family Constellation Session

First, the client tells the therapist about their issue. This may range from relationship difficulties within the family, to suicide, accidents or serious illness. The therapist then asks the client to give some information about their family background, and then determines how many family members are part of the client's "family". The next step is for the client to choose representatives from the audience for each family member. These representatives are then placed in the room in relation to one another according to the client's own internal picture of their family. When the family is set up, both the client and the therapist sit down and allow the constellation to develop. In hundreds of thousands of constellations we have witnessed worldwide, we see the same effect, time after time - the representatives, once in their role, begin to feel the emotions, thoughts and even the physical symptoms of the people they are there to represent. All of this happens without them having any knowledge of the actual person. We simply don't know why this happens, but there is scientific research underway to help us explain this phenomenon. The therapist then asks each representative in turn how they are feeling in their respective positions. According to the feedback and the therapist's intuition or gut reaction, he then intervenes - moving individuals or instigating interactions that lead to a harmonious solution for everyone involved.

The effects of a constellation on a client's family

Very often the effects of a family constellation are felt not only by the "client", but also by the family members who weren't even present. This has been documented again and again.

The effects of a constellation on the client

Results in therapy can never be promised. We have noticed the main ingredient in change is the openness of the client. If they really want to change, the work is half done. The other half will happen through the family constellation. Of course the client still has to fulfil their part of the bargain. In order to change we must be willing to put in a bit of effort. A family constellation isn't a magic pill, and a client may need further counselling after a session.

The bigger picture

One of the hardest, and most common, problems to deal with nowadays is the feeling of being separate from the whole. This starts within our family, our ancestry and maybe even our country or origin. We may feel separate from our parents, another family member or our ethnic group. This separation is very painful and keeps us from a life of joy, inner peace and contentment. We try to fill this painful, aching gap that looms between us and where we feel we should be by many different means, all of which are doomed to fail from the start. We try to make the connection through work, listening to music, learning a language, going to the amusement park, drinking alcohol or joining a club - all of these methods have a temporary effect, but after a while we're in the same state. Frustrated and unhappy.
With the help of family constellations you and your clients learn to experience yourselves wrapped in the arms of something much larger than your individual life. But to be able to feel that, first you must be content with where you are. You begin to feel yourself as part of the family that you were born into. When you are comfortable feeling yourself as that son or daughter, then you can take the next step. You feel yourself as part of your clan and you begin to understand the essence that flows through all of humanity. You become aware of something that is the same in each and every one of us, something that lifts us to a state of mind where we can really see life for what it is. I hope that I have been able to give you a little taste of what this work is about. It certainly touched my heart, and it is my one wish that it will touch yours. If you wish to do further reading online, please check out the articles on theory, practice and the background of family constellations.

Copyright © 2003 by Frank Arjava Petter